I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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