Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
