Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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