I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
