all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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