And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize