so explain again why im purple
no
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
