I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
