I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she looked like the before picture.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
