If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize