i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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