So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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