between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
