I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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