thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
