If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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