ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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