Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
