Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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