you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
