woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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