We're like a lot better than the average bears
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I AM VODKA MAN
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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