My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
