If that was your dad, he is hot
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
