yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sorry about my life...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
