remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
