I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just found puke in my bra..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
