you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
