conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
do nipples grow back?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
