Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
