so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
