HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
