Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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