dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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