Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
