What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize