i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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