Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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