brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
