He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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