What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Are my feet made of real feet?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
