I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
