that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
