If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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