Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
