Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
