Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
