wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
