I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
