Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
