I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you inspire me to be a worse person
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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