grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize