# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
