can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
