What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
