that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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