Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
