Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
